All Doctors Are Drug Dealers

Back in the old days you could just buy some crack. Now you gots to go find someone who went to school and got a license to sell crack. People be like a bunch of citizens: Oh selling crack sounds very dangerous; I only want to buy my crack from reputable dealers. Bruh, I just want my crack. 

Look, so I roll up on my place. My man on the inside, my dealer, Trench Brother Jo Jo. He be real easy, like hey man here you go. He knows, I just want crack and that is it. It is such a beautiful relationship between a man and his crack dealer. Some dudes be like: I don’t think crack is an appropriate treatment option. NIGGA! These drug dealers be trippin.

Now I head inside and the bitch tells me that Trench Brother Jo Jo died yesterday in a boating accident. They have another guy who came in to sell drugs, PHAT Sampson. If you are drinking something right now pour that shit on the ground. Trench Brother Jo Jo drinks first today.

You won’t believe what this drug dealer be like. PHAT Sampson comes in and tries to tell me that I am not on the right treatment. He was looking at my file and thinks I should try something else. So he is not going to give me crack today. OH MY FUCKING GOD! Is this nigga retarded. Why would a crack dealer need to have a file?

So I have to explain to this dude. Nigga, you selling crack. He then starts talking about his fake ass oath to Pimp Daddy Hipo Crates. I can’t believe this dude, he won’t sell me crack. What the fuck is going on? Has the world really gone mad, that this nigga thinks he cares about my health. YOU SELL ME MY FUCKING DRUGS!

So he tries to sell me some other shit. I tell him that I am happy with crack. You got a lot of crack here and you sell other people crack. So why can’t you sell me crack. He just ignores my request and goes with his medical moral faggotry. This clown then tries to charge me money for consultation and visit. I ain’t paying no bills. You can get paid when you sell me crack. GOOD DAY SIR!

Note from the author

Now, many people think that doctors are big shit. But they are basically just government sanctioned drug dealers. It is time to abolish medical moral faggotry and destroy the government monopoly on medicine. I have a political agenda fuck you. I don’t need some hierarchical authority to tell me what I can put in my body. If you are going to start whining about the stupidity of your fellow man, then I hope a doctor declares you unfit to live and forcibly euthanized you. That will teach you to love authority.