An Offer You Can’t Refuse

Some days in the locker room when your bros start to say gay shit. What the fuck is that? People say stuff like I aint gay, but $20 is $20. Uhhhhhhhhh… I mean if you are willing to be tempted by $20, then you are fucking gay! But they always glance at you, probably with their bank accounts in mind. GROSS! Hey bro, I bet you would suck a cock at some price. I mean everyone has a price, no? It is just a brojob. You wouldn’t give your bro a brojob for say $10,000? I have to tell these homos that I wouldn’t even do it for $10,000,000. I had an old buddy from my younger days. He would claim that I am such a faggot and I would suck his dickle for a nickle. You wanna fight homo? Yeah, I am straight.  

You know, you say these things until the cash is in front of your eyes. It was a dark period in my life when I was late on two months rent. You’re always thinking about money. The first thing you realize is that people are coming for you. They are watching you, because they want their money. The spooks hide around every corner. 

What appeared to be a parasitical ghoul approached me while I was out and about. I reached for a weapon taking him for a spook. His face revealed that he was my old buddy. It was good to see a friend among the crowd. I told him I was behind on two months rent. Maybe he was in a charitable mood. It was a while since I had seen him, but I guess he really was gay afterall. I wondered all these years if he was just kidding around. I was quite certain, because he made gestures towards his crotch while I was talking.

Uggghhhhh… I ain’t gonna do it for a nickel. Good thing he offered me exactly two months rent to suck his cock. I mean it was a good deal. So I took it. Wasn’t proud of myself, but this really was the influx of money I needed to get my life back on track. I paid the rent and everything was fine. I still worked my shit job, that kept me on the edge of fear. But I was on the right side of these tracks. 

There was a time working my job when the boss man was saying a lot about this promotion. I told mister boss I was ready to go and step up to be junior assistant manager. We had an interview and I thought I had crushed that shit. In the wait, some chit chat had begun around work. Not only was I not going to get the promotion, but rumor had started that I was the most pathetic and undeserving candidate. This rumor could only originate from the boss mister. Here was the sick shit, according to the rumor, the damn promotion was going to this karen. Fuck off with that! What was the man boss thinking? I would have made an extra $400 a month. I could use that money. I could also use the dignity of not being treated like a fucking retard by my coworkers.

You won’t believe this, my old buddy shows up with an offer. He tells me he can get me the job, I just need to suck the dick. Hey, I really need this promotion, like just one brojob for such a great career opportunity. I can see myself, waltzing around the office. You pleb cock suckers thought I was a retard who can’t be. Yes, I do be. So I did it. Yeah yeah yeah, I am gay. Fuck you, this was a good deal. You would do it too.

But you know it starts to get strange. I was looking at this new gaming setup on the internet. It would cost me exactly $3687. It is a real shame I would never ever be able to afford such a glorious computer. The strange part is that I got a call on my phone from my buddy, he was offering me exactly $3686.95 for another brojob. He was hesitant and steady in his offer. I mean this was what he was willing to cough up. It seems obvious you can just give me an extra nickel to round it out. It kind of makes sense, you have a boundary and some quantity of whole dollars must be the difference between sucky suck and jerky jerk. 

A man has a price, I will do it for $3687, that is enough to purchase what I want. He is going to have to cough up that nickel or I aint doing it. We were heading into what would be a good hour arguing the finer points of the nickel. My old buddy cracked, the sex drive of a man is more desperate to seek pleasure. Every minute wasted was a deterioration of potential. He needs the brojob now, not later. It was just a brojob, now or then for myself. I don’t care if I give it now or in a year. It is all unpleasant laborious faggotry. But to give one was worth it. I mean it is just one more brojob, right? I mean a brojob is really not that bad, especially if it will get me a new gaming setup.

It never really stopped there. Anytime I had a want that was vastly beyond my means, my old buddy was there. I was looking at new houses, he showed up with cash offers. One brojob per mortgage payment, not bad. I was looking to buy a Tesla and he said he would make the payments for… yes, a brojob every month. All the promotions were mine man, just a brojob, bro. I had the clothes man, more brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs. Brojobs.

I had a nice computer, house, sports car, job, and wardrobe. I would just take that cock in my mouth and poof all my dreams would come true. It be like a homo genie. But I woke up one day and looked at myself in the mirror. I realized that I had become a total homo. Every material need that pops in my head is merely one easy brojob away. He knew all my weaknesses to get me to give up the brojob. I have been exploited and robbed of my real sexuality. Anytime I was too express my true desires, I was offered something to dull and cuck my senses. I was a victim of rape.

So what does one do when they are being violated and exploited sexually. I went to the police and told them that I was being psychologically manipulated to suck this guy off. Everytime I really needed something, he would show up and take advantage of my needs. The police were so supportive of how this predatory homosexual had taken advantage of me. We quickly went to court and dragged this criminal in to face justice.

I made my case to the judge. A real homosexual would suck a dickle for a nickle. I ain’t be doing that shit. This man prayed on my weaknesses. He made offers that were too good to refuse. How can you turn down an offer that is so good? Where is the free will? I mean this dude held hostage the potential for a life of luxury to be his cum bucket. No man could say no to any of his offers for sex. This is rape.

He responded with something very surprising. He told me that I did turn down exactly one offer he made. It was $3686.95 for one brojob, but I said I would do it if he gave me a nickel. I would suck a dickle for a nickel… What was even stranger is that he opened up about his own sexuality. He was exclusively seuxally arroused by me snobbing on his knob. He was just born this way. He didn’t choose to do exactly everything I wanted in order for me to satisfy his sexual needs. The quantity of resources he had to expend inorder to satisfy his needs was insane. I was the benefactor of this, ofcourse. The total bill was estimated to be 2 million dollars in our 3 year relationship. He was compelled by his sexual orientation to give me everything. I had taken advantage of his sexual proclivities. I was the one who was guilty of raping him. 

The judge weighing both cases said that he would need time to think this over. Was I really the true rapist? I was actually unsure now. 

He came back within the hour. His verdict: we were both guilty of gay rape. Neither of these parties could have said no, thus we both took advantage of each other. We were executed by firing squad the following day. Justice!

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